Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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