Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
