return my video game
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize