He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
