Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize