Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
