Your tits are I can't wait for
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
