she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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