he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
