So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
