Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
