he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
