Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize