If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize