im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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