this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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