New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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