In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
