Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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