How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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