DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
