I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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