after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ketchup is God's man juice
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
