Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
