At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
