ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
