the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize