i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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