im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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