I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You're so nebulous sometimes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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