The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize