But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Terrible idea I love it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
