Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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