you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
