He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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