I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
