the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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