even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
