mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
