He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
