Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
