your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
