I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
