If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
