I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
