Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize