I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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