I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
