I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
