It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
