What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
