My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
