Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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