She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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