Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
