in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
