Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
