Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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