Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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