I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
