yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
