I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
