I hope mine doesn't look like that
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
