god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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