My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
