I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize