it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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