i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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