i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
